I do this thing now that takes up most of my day. It involves a blender and the computer. It started with a blender. Not just any blender. Like an ivewaitedfortenyearstoorderthisdamnblender kind of blender. The kind of blender you name and tell your kids to never touch or they will have to move out immediately. They were probably a little jealous as I stroked my blender and shrieked with glee as I pulled it from the box that day.
But now Bertha the $500 vitamix is my coveted business partner… oh yeah, and my real in the flesh partner. Danny is my partner too, I mean she is listed on the LLP, so she should be invested in my success, too? That’s what is troubling at this 9:48 hour on a Saturday morning. I am sitting here typing while she feels abandoned as she tries to sleep late. But I just can’t sleep. I have a website to babysit.
I am only getting about 15 hits to the site a day. That’s not much at ALL. It’s really deplorable in the world of ecommerce. But I have an app on my site that allows me to chat with customers and ask if they need help. This has made my conversion rate (or rate of people who were just visiting to turn into people who are buying) very high at 15%. A typical conversion rate on an commerce site it around 2.9 percent.
So I am doing well on people who stop by feel motivated to buy. But what am I motivated to do?? Treat the computer like a crying baby and listen for the chime of a customer on my website, at which point I jump over to it, greet and begin chatting with said customer. I am also still putting final touches on the website and online marketing is very time-consuming.
So Danny feels put aside. Hurt. Sad. And, like any Leo, allpuffedupgrouchy. She just drew a line with her work and said, “No work on the weekends with my family.” And here I am tapping away on the computer. Hovering around my site, and really unable to think of anything else. So how do we negotiate this?
I feel hurt that she doesn’t see me trying hard to build something and keep it going. We are struggling like mad for money right now. I got a job last week that expected me to work until 10 pm every weeknight. Would she rather me do that and us REALLY not see each other? Or let me get this off the ground right now so we can coast a little bit in the future.
This is hard. Her job is hard. Like emotionally hard because no one recognizes what she does at work, one of the managers constantly calls her for answers and she gets no credit for fixing his issues on the daily.
Even now we are fighting about how often I am on my phone, the computer, whatever device is near.
I am struggling hard to succeed at making a company and not a hobby. And I am afraid I am losing other important things in the mix. But my brain can’t see around that I am building a small company that I hope will be easier and sustainable for the future. I don’t want anyone to feel left out but I have that puppy-eyed man-look that says, “Baby, I am just doing this for US. For US.”
I think I will feel I am being short-sighted when I look back, but I get what people are feeling when they well-meaninly say that. I never got it before. But now I am on this side of the coin and it looks so clear to me, I just wish it did to everyone else.